At My Best …

Here is another activity that can be used to clarify and set personally meaningful and energising goals …

At My Best Portrait – write a narrative that describes you ‘at your best.’ You might find it helpful to start the narrative with the stem statement … “When I am at my best …” You might like to describe what you do, and how you relate to yourself, others, and the world at large. Add to this narrative over several sittings. Initially write for at least 20 minutes.

How did you go with this?

References: Lyubormirsky (2007).

A Letter From the Future

Here is a practice that can be used to clarify and set goals that are personally meaningful and energising.

Write a Letter from the Future (eg 3, 5, 10 years from now) – in this letter write from your Future Self to your Present Self. Write about how you are living a fulfilling, satisfying, flourishing life – describe what you are … doing … thinking … feeling … and describe your life situation and circumstances. In this letter describe what you did to create the fulfilling life you are now living. Discuss the steps you took. Share the lessons you learnt along the way. Spend at least 20minutes doing this and free to add to this letter over a series of days and weeks.

Did you choose to try this yourself? If you did, what happened for you? What did you discover?

In coming posts I will share other Reach for the Stars practices.

Reference: Grant & Greene (2001)

WWW.gratitude

A simple way to cultivate ‘the attitude of gratitude’ is to:

1. Write down What Went Well (www.) in your day or week (you can do your www. each day, or you can do it once per week – it’s up to you, the main thing is to make it work for you so the practice remains fresh and powerful for you).

2. Write about 3-5 www.’s

3. Write the cause for each www.

4. Record your www.’s in the medium of your choice … This might be an actual ‘Gratitude Diary’, a simple ‘Gratitude List’ (eg on your fridge), In a ‘Gratitude Box’ (thanks Ruby!), or an electronic device ( eg phone, computer – yes there are Apps for this). If writing doesn’t work for you then make a mental note, or spend some quiet time contemplating on the objects of your gratitude.

5. Get in the habit of practicing your gratitude at a regular time of the day(eg just before going to bed) or week(eg Sunday night).

6. When you are doing your www.s allow and open yourself to experience the warm and positive feelings and sensations that arise when we engage with gratitude.

7. Every now and then look over your www.’s and the causes of these … and begin to notice the patterns that are present. Perhaps you will notice that certain things tend to inspire gratitude in your life?

Let me know how this practice goes for you and if you have any other tips you’d like to share!

References: Lyubomirsky (2007); Grant & Leigh (2010); Eades (2009); Seligman and colleagues (2005).

Saying thanks … the attitude of gratitude

Image by Steve-h via Flickr

Gratitude is having a sense of gratefulness or thankfulness for someone or something. This might be for family and friends, or people in your general life. It might be for pets and animals, or for nature or life at large. We might have a sense of gratitude for ourselves – for what we have … or don’t have. There are so many things we can be thankful for.

What are some of the things that you are grateful for?

Appreciation is when we actually express our gratitude. We go beyond experiencing the felt sense of gratitude to actually sharing it with others.

Who or what have you appreciated recently?

Gratitude and appreciation are powerful pathways towards wellbeing. There are many simple ways to cultivate gratitude in our lives. In the next post I will share with you a few practices from the literature that you can explore.

What activities and practices do you use to cultivate gratitude and appreciation in your life and those around you? It would be great to hear from you.

Reach for the stars

In this post we look at our first Epicorma principle for flourishing: Reach for the stars.

This principle is about goals and accomplishment.

Martin Seligman, a thought leader in human flourishing, describes accomplishment as one of the 5 pillars of wellbeing. Accomplishment often requires grit. In case you are wondering what is grit? Well, …

Grit = passion + perseverance.

Passion is about wanting something deeply enough and perseverance is about sticking to something, even in the face of set backs and a long journey ahead.

When it comes to goals, here are some tips:

Make your goals personally meaningful – that way you are more likely to keep striving for these over the longer term and these goals are better for your wellbeing

Get SMART – if you make your goals Specific, Measurable, Attractive (i.e. personally meaningful), Realistic, and Time-framed you are more likely likely to achieve what you are aiming for

Smell the roses along the way – striving for goals can be as important as achieving goals … many people get on a ‘goal treadmill’ and achieve one goal without taking the time to savour the last goal achieved … so make the journey towards the goal an enjoyable and pleasurable one and when you reach your goal take time to stop and savour the achievement.

Set goals that are within your ‘control’ – some goals are out of our control, others are within our influence, and the best goals to start with are those which we have direct control over. Often the things in our direct control are our own behaviours. The saying, “think global, act local” picks up on this theme.

More tips to come …

What are some of your tips?

10 ways to flourish

Over the past decade there has been a growing interest among scholars, researchers, and practitioners about how we can help people flourish. A number of papers and books have been written in this area. Below are 10 principles and practices that I think are worth exploring.

Reach for the stars: set yourself personally meaningful goals

Play to strengths: identify and regularly use your main strengths

Saying thanks: develop the attitude of gratitude and share it with others

Focus on the positive: look for what is good and positive because what we focus on grows

Paying attention: the practice of mindfulness helps us be here now … rather than in the past or future

Letting go: notice what we are holding on to and allow space for some things to pass and other things to emerge

Being connected: its important to nurture positive connections and relationships in our lives

Making a difference: kindness and contribution is good for us and others

Know what matters: live your values because life will feel more authentic that way

Bodycare: eat well, move regularly, and sleep well

I’ll write some more about each of these principles in coming posts.

What other principles do you think cultivates flourishing? Let me know what you think.

The meaning of Epicorma

Epicorma is an Australian bush metaphor for hope, resilience, and regeneration.

From time to time bush fire sweeps through the Australian bush. Plant and animal life is often destroyed in the process. Yet some trees seem to survive and recover from the ravages of fire. Among these are particular eucalyptus trees which have evolved a number of protective ‘epicormic processes.’ Some have a thick bark that is shed in the face of fire, releasing the Epicorma buds for growth. Others have protected bulbs at the base of the tree which again are released following fire. In both cases, new life is potentiated by fire.

Epicormic shoots. Photo: John O'Neil.

I think its a great metaphor that was shared with me many years ago by Daniel Beaver.

What does this metaphor evoke in you? What does this Epicorma metaphor mean to you?

Welcome to Epicorma

Welcome to the Epicorma blog! This blog is for people interested in cultivating skills for people to live flourishing lives. ‘Flourishing’ means different things to different people. Some people believe that a flourishing life is about achieving our potential. For others it is about living a fulfilling and happy life.

In coming posts we will take a closer look at a number of different perspectives about ‘flourishing.’ What does flourishing mean to you? What does it look like for you? What does it sound like? What does it feel like?

Let us know why you think.